Idiot of the Week - Paul Baier

[eaglesnut]

Clearly the deciding factor being the $.

What if he offered 40?

[eaglesnut]

A 14 year old earns the right to have their privileges by the choices they make...they don't get to make the choice of which privileges they do or don't want to get paid not to do.

That's like saying drinking with her friends is a "privilege." She needs to learn appropriate use, no matter what the subject is.

And a privilege until when? What age? The truth is you'd like to think of it as a privilege (as parents everywhere), but she can sign up on her own from anywhere.

[Cory J. Bonini]

It was her idea. Again, if this wasn't an issue before, and there doesn't seem to be any previous issues with bribery, or slack parenting, I fail to see the issue here.

When I was a kid and I cleaned my room, and as a reward got a sundae at baskin robbins, didn't automatically make me think I get icecream every time my parents asked me to do something.

Ice cream < $200 in cash

[Cory J. Bonini]

Facebook must start requiring people to be at least 18 years old to sign up for their site. Problem solved.

[LGM]

Ice cream < $200 in cash

And I got my reward right after, whereas she has to wait 6 months for hers.

[Grimjack]

I didn't parent with a single apporach. Differ measures call for different actions/responses.
Only an idiot of a parent or non-parent says diffrent.

WOW. this is fun

[Kilmer]

I agree with ducky, but used to think differently, having a daughter with ADD has changed that. A reward system works pretty well with my daughter, punishing her over and over and over again for the same ole **** sucks. So I have had to learn a new way, that is all I see this as. He gave his daughter a choice, one that he saw benefited both of them. He could have just said, no Facebook and strain the relationship with is daughter for lording power over her. Or he could have just tried to keep an eye on her Facebook to make sure it remained safe and did not take up all her time. Instead he chose to give her a choice that benefited both parties. And now neither of them have to waste time on Facebook.

[CalgaryHawkFan]

To follow up on my earlier post, yep, there's a HUGE range between 'parent of year' and 'idiot' for this guy to fall into. I'd just be leery at best about offering bribes for stuff that you consider basic behavior. My daughter does well on her tests, and we go out to a movie to celebrate - doesn't make me an 'idiot.'

This strategy may work for this father/daughter. I've no way of knowing.

But as a universal strategy? Meh.

[ThankGod4Walsh]

I give my kid a pack of organic gummy fruits or organic yogurt if she's good.

I don't let her do certain things she wants if she yells at me or throws a fit for no good reason.

She's 2.

I fail to see how incentivizing good behavior and discouraging bad behavior is somehow a problem with the dad here. Not every female who has ever been told that you are rewarded for good behavior has ended up walking the streets of Las Vegas in red pumps.

And if he views facebook as something to be avoided, and offers her the "deal" and she accepts, what's so bad about that? She's compensated for her "good" choice consistent with the dad's values.

Last I checked, parenting was about instilling values in your children. And odds are, they're going to end up being YOUR values at the end of the day.

[Cory J. Bonini]

And I got my reward right after, whereas she has to wait 6 months for hers.

Without going back and looking, I thought she received $50 upfront?

[Cory J. Bonini]

To follow up on my earlier post, yep, there's a HUGE range between 'parent of year' and 'idiot' for this guy to fall into. I'd just be leery at best about offering bribes for stuff that you consider basic behavior. My daughter does well on her tests, and we go out to a movie to celebrate - doesn't make me an 'idiot.'

This strategy may work for this father/daughter. I've no way of knowing.

But as a universal strategy? Meh.

This is all logical.

My only issue is that if a father doesn't want a teenage daughter on something like FB, he shouldn't have to feel like he has to bribe or even be in that situation. That's where parents often down do a strong enough job or apply relativism.

Somewhere along the line he probably incentivized somethings to the point where she realized this was an easy way to make money. Who knows ... she probably created a secondary profile and has it hidden or uses a pseudonym.

As you said, maybe it works for them. I bid him good luck for the next few years.

[LGM]

Without going back and looking, I thought she received $50 upfront?

My bad, she did.

Really, without knowing the dad or daughter, their relationship, how she deals with discipline or the dad's parenting style, it's really hard to make an accurate judgement on the quality of this agreement.

If he exclusively uses money because he's never home, rich, and isn't an active father? Sure, complete idiot and douch. If this was a "one off", and she wants to pay for a trip to six flags this summer and this is how she wants to "earn" the money? Meh, much ado about nothing.

[LGM]

My only issue is that if a father doesn't want a teenage daughter on something like FB, he shouldn't have to feel like he has to bribe or even be in that situation. That's where parents often down do a strong enough job or apply relativism.

Except she brought up the idea; it wasn't the dad's, nor was there any mention of her abusing FB.

Somewhere along the line he probably incentivized somethings to the point where she realized this was an easy way to make money. Who knows ... she probably created a secondary profile and has it hidden or uses a pseudonym.

As you said, who knows; but you're making quite the assumption anyway. :)