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  1. #46
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Duchy of Grand Fenwick
    Posts
    34,354
    (For #1 49erfan)

    "One to read and one to write"
    APF doesn't come in screaming at others about how stupid they are. APF doesn't spam NST with the same tired topic 30 times a month. APF doesn't link to some kook in his mom's basement telling you how to, "Be afraid. Be very afraid" of the world falling down around you. And, when APF is proven wrong, he acknowledges he made a mistake and moves on, rather than harping about "sheeple."

    -- Cory Bonini

    Welchie summarized

  2. #47
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Posts
    20,273
    Quote Originally Posted by Jim in NYC View Post
    "Well, mee wee bairn, I don't know where ye been or what ye been doin', but ye took first prize!"

    (and I have no idea what the rest of the joke is; I just read it in a Star Trek novel when I was in high school--Kirk walks in on one of Scotty's junior engineers as she's delivering the punch line)
    It's a scottsman singing to his johnson which has a blue ribbon upon it... and he's no idea how it got there. It's actually from a scottish folk song.

    Now I owe a punchline...

    "Panda: A south east asian mammal that eats shoots and leaves."
    A Drinking Team with a Cycling Problem

  3. #48
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Duchy of Grand Fenwick
    Posts
    34,354
    "We'd never heard that one before" or, alternatively, "He tells it particularly well"
    APF doesn't come in screaming at others about how stupid they are. APF doesn't spam NST with the same tired topic 30 times a month. APF doesn't link to some kook in his mom's basement telling you how to, "Be afraid. Be very afraid" of the world falling down around you. And, when APF is proven wrong, he acknowledges he made a mistake and moves on, rather than harping about "sheeple."

    -- Cory Bonini

    Welchie summarized

  4. #49
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Great White North eh!!!
    Posts
    21,456
    a brunette with bad breath.


    so blind people can hate them also.
    The Leafies are Scumbags.

  5. #50
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    New York City
    Posts
    45,868
    A few religious themed ones:

    "Think we got time?"

    "He usually gives me ten bucks!"

    "And if He sees His shadow, we'll have six more weeks of winter!"
    I just adore children. Especially grown ones.-- George Gould Strong, by way of Doug Wright, Scott Frankel, and Michael Korie, Grey Gardens

  6. #51
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    On a small planet floating within a mystery
    Posts
    4,312
    Heard a great one today -

    "Speaking!"

  7. #52
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    Promised Land
    Posts
    37,600
    Quote Originally Posted by DrunkLeprechaun View Post
    Heard a great one today -

    "Speaking!"
    Groucho?
    I've got binders full of women
    and a one point plan.

  8. #53
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    On a small planet floating within a mystery
    Posts
    4,312
    Quote Originally Posted by RayClay View Post
    Groucho?
    Henny Youngman.

    Another good one from him:
    "What do you think I am - made of bricks?"

  9. #54
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Duchy of Grand Fenwick
    Posts
    34,354
    "All the verbs were in the last volume!"
    APF doesn't come in screaming at others about how stupid they are. APF doesn't spam NST with the same tired topic 30 times a month. APF doesn't link to some kook in his mom's basement telling you how to, "Be afraid. Be very afraid" of the world falling down around you. And, when APF is proven wrong, he acknowledges he made a mistake and moves on, rather than harping about "sheeple."

    -- Cory Bonini

    Welchie summarized

  10. #55
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Duchy of Grand Fenwick
    Posts
    34,354
    "Aren't you sorry you had me spayed?"
    APF doesn't come in screaming at others about how stupid they are. APF doesn't spam NST with the same tired topic 30 times a month. APF doesn't link to some kook in his mom's basement telling you how to, "Be afraid. Be very afraid" of the world falling down around you. And, when APF is proven wrong, he acknowledges he made a mistake and moves on, rather than harping about "sheeple."

    -- Cory Bonini

    Welchie summarized

  11. #56
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Sneakin' through the alley with Sally
    Posts
    2,481
    "Welcome to Jamaica. Have a nice day."

    "SHOOT THE DOG!!!!!"
    "I just threw away a lifetime of guilt-free sex and floor seats for every sporting event in Madison Square Garden, so please, a little respect, for I am Costanza, lord of the idiots!"

  12. #57
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Columbia, SC
    Posts
    11,656
    "I thought I paid it."
    "I just want to be a really filthy old man and get paid for it." -George Carlin

  13. #58
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Barbecue Heaven
    Posts
    21,213
    "Hey y'all, watch this!" AND....

    "I would have gotten out today."

  14. #59
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Annapolis, Md
    Posts
    11,743
    Quote Originally Posted by The Cryin Lion View Post
    It's a scottsman singing to his johnson which has a blue ribbon upon it... and he's no idea how it got there. It's actually from a scottish folk song.

    Now I owe a punchline...

    "Panda: A south east asian mammal that eats shoots and leaves."
    Aww, man! That's what I was going to say. Except mine is with a Koala Bear. So, since you stole mine, I guess I have to go racist on you guys...


    "Never trust a ****** when he tells you the Czech is in the male."
    As cliche as it may sound, I'd like to raise another round, and if your bottle's empty help yourself to mine, thank you for your time and here's to life.

  15. #60
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    17,036
    "That's nothing, you should be here when he makes donuts"
    Occupying the handicap bathroom stall

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