Why don't rednecks go trick-or-treating on Halloween?
They'd rather stay home and pump kin.
“If the advocates of apartheid had their wits about them, they would claim – for all I know truthfully – that allowing mixed races is against their religion. A good part of the opposition would respectfully tiptoe away. And it is no use claiming that this is an unfair parallel because apartheid has no rational justification. The whole point of religious faith, its strength and chief glory, is that is does not depend on rational justification. —Richard Dawkins (1989)
How do you prevent homos from getting AIDS?
Tell 'em to sit down and keep their mouth shut.
*TWEET* Fag on the play!
After the thread was started, illegal procedure, Raid. Lack of pun, irony, absurdity, double entendre, or anything else that would make a joke funny.
“If the advocates of apartheid had their wits about them, they would claim – for all I know truthfully – that allowing mixed races is against their religion. A good part of the opposition would respectfully tiptoe away. And it is no use claiming that this is an unfair parallel because apartheid has no rational justification. The whole point of religious faith, its strength and chief glory, is that is does not depend on rational justification. —Richard Dawkins (1989)
What is the opening line of the Black Theatre production of Hamlet?
"To be, or not to be, that be the question."
Much better.
In the same vein:
What did Gay Hamlet say while watching Rosenkratz and Guildenstern walk away from him?
"There is a divinity that shapes our ends."
“If the advocates of apartheid had their wits about them, they would claim – for all I know truthfully – that allowing mixed races is against their religion. A good part of the opposition would respectfully tiptoe away. And it is no use claiming that this is an unfair parallel because apartheid has no rational justification. The whole point of religious faith, its strength and chief glory, is that is does not depend on rational justification. —Richard Dawkins (1989)
First heard this one when I was 12. It's just gotten better with age.
After his third week stationed at an Alaskan Army base, Joe is getting a little antsy, so he asks one of the guys what they do for sexual release.
The guy tells him that since the nearest woman is 450 miles away, they pretty much have to take things into their own hands. “Of course, there’s Sgt. Mulrooney.” Joe says, “No way, I don’t go for that kind of stuff!”
After another week, Joe asks again about sex. Again, he receives the same answer, either do it yourself, or Sgt. Mulrooney. Joe again says, “Nope, I don’t go for that stuff. ”
Another week goes by and Joe is now desperate. He asks, “If I was to do it with Sgt. Mulrooney, how many people would know about it?”
His buddy says, “Just the five of us.”
Joe says, “Five!? How the hell will five guys know about it?”
His pal says, “Well, there’s you and me, and Sgt. Mulrooney, and the two guys it takes to hold him down. See, he don’t go for that stuff either.”
“If the advocates of apartheid had their wits about them, they would claim – for all I know truthfully – that allowing mixed races is against their religion. A good part of the opposition would respectfully tiptoe away. And it is no use claiming that this is an unfair parallel because apartheid has no rational justification. The whole point of religious faith, its strength and chief glory, is that is does not depend on rational justification. —Richard Dawkins (1989)
Tell me where the bomb is or I will kill your son.
"Responsibility without conviction is weak, but it is sane. Conviction without responsibility, in the current incarnation of the Republican Party, is raving mad."
(this one might be generation-specific, but here goes...)
What would the old Palmolive lady say if you were fingering her?
"Vag! You're soaking in it!"
“If the advocates of apartheid had their wits about them, they would claim – for all I know truthfully – that allowing mixed races is against their religion. A good part of the opposition would respectfully tiptoe away. And it is no use claiming that this is an unfair parallel because apartheid has no rational justification. The whole point of religious faith, its strength and chief glory, is that is does not depend on rational justification. —Richard Dawkins (1989)
Tell me where the bomb is or I will kill your son.
"Responsibility without conviction is weak, but it is sane. Conviction without responsibility, in the current incarnation of the Republican Party, is raving mad."
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Originally Posted by Raid
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