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mhd24
09-17-2004, 05:10 AM
Here are mine:

1) John Goodman as Linda Trip
2) Phil Hartman as Oliver Stone trying to prove there was a conspiracy when Bush I vomitted
3) Carvey in the Mcclaughin Group
4) Carvey as Tom Brokaw
5) Will Ferrel as Alex Trebek

Ethan 55
09-17-2004, 05:48 AM
A few:

Colon Blow and Super Colon Blow: You'd need to eat 500,000 bowls of Cornflakes to get the fiber in one bowl of Super Colon Blow

Robert Goulet (Will Ferrell) croons rap songs

Chris Farley doing the Chippendale's dance with Patrick Swayze

karhu
09-17-2004, 05:53 AM
Servicing the entire Quad Cities area--Rock Island, Moline, Davenport and Bettendorf--it's...

Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute.


But my all time favorites are the Festrunk Brothers.


Oh, Georg my brother, there will certainly be a lot of swinging in our bachelor pad tonight!

Hold it! Let's catch some rays!

You and what Army! Forget about it! Ah, that fox bar was really something tonight. It was no difficulty to see many swinging Americans enjoying each other a great deal.

And here is a thing I will tell you: that two swinging foxes have the hots-on for us, and are coming here tonight to let us hold on to their big American breasts!

Why not? There's nothing preventing them. After all, there is no other pair of Czech brothers who cruise and swing so successfuly in tight slacks!

We are.. two wild and crazy guys!

tyke1doe
09-17-2004, 06:01 AM
Eddie Murphy's "James Brown Hot Tub," "The Shooting of Buckwheat."
Dana Carvey's "Singing Broccoli"
I'm sure there are others, just can't think of them.
But haven't we done topic like 100 times? :)

DonMan
09-17-2004, 06:12 AM
We could do this topic 100 times, and probably come up with different skits each time. Here are a few that come to mind:

- Julia Louise Dryfus laying on a piano singing YMCA
- "LandSharks"
- Dan Ackroyd doing "Bass-O-Matic"

NODAK
09-17-2004, 06:22 AM
Good call on the Trebek one...the Jeopardy skit was great.

But my fave:

"My name is Matt Foley...and I am a motivational speaker!"

DonMan
09-17-2004, 06:36 AM
One other classic skit that comes to mind is a regular feature that Al Franken used to do; can't recall the name. The one with Michael Jordon was hilarious.

In addition, a few more general skits which were done several times:
- Samurai Delicatessen. In particular, the one where Buck Henry asks John "could you cut that sandwich in two please?"
- Coneheads (even developed into it's own movie and later sitcom)

trev
09-17-2004, 06:42 AM
So many but one that sticks out for me is the Roxbury especially when Jim Carey hosted and joined it.

FNG
09-17-2004, 06:51 AM
The ones where Will Ferrel played some guy that had just won an election but continued to run political ads about his competitor, calling him a "loser" and accosting (sp) him in the parking lot, saying his wife was fat and his kids were ugly, etc...
That one was so funny I nearly pi$$ed myself.

BigFin
09-17-2004, 09:08 AM
The ones where Will Ferrel played some guy that had just won an election but continued to run political ads about his competitor, calling him a "loser" and accosting (sp) him in the parking lot, saying his wife was fat and his kids were ugly, etc...
That one was so funny I nearly pi$$ed myself.

That one was awesome

Other Ferrell's include:

Emotional Drill Seargent w/David Spade
Hot tub lifegaurd w/Jim Carrey
Jesus documentary w/Cuba Gooding Jr (IMO, the funniest SNL skit ever)
Bill Braskey
and numerous others...

MDPatFan
09-17-2004, 11:37 AM
All-Drugs Olympics
Steve Martin and Gilda Radner ballroom dancing
Point-Counterpoint "Jane, you ignorant slut"
Bill Murray as the lounge singer
Samurai Night Fever

SinkLikeAStone
09-17-2004, 11:41 AM
More Cowbell

Payton34
09-17-2004, 11:42 AM
I will always be a fan of all of the "Da Bears" skits.. (surprise, surprise)

I still think many lost the humor in it not realizing how many Bear fans are REALLY like that.... :eek:

My other that had me rolling on the floor (I think it was SNL, someone help me)... It was a skit that had Michael Jordan in it briefly, but it is a skit reminiscing about when white guys used to play in the NBA..... They'd interview a guy and he'd say, "Oh ya, I remember this guy 'Ghost Callahan'" or something like that... and talk about how he could do a few things, but all the snipet interviews, including the one with Jordan, ended with, "But all and all, they pretty much sucked...." (anyone know what I'm talking about???? :confused: )

SinkLikeAStone
09-17-2004, 11:44 AM
when the mother is in agonizing labor they're coaching her etc etc and Will Farrel comes out. that was one of the funniest things i've ever seen. ever.

Underdog
09-17-2004, 01:16 PM
The one where Mike Myers is the hyperactive hypoglycemic kid ("I'm a hyper hypo!") tied to a jungle gym by his harness, and Nicole Kidman is the little girl tormenting him.

Underdog
09-17-2004, 01:18 PM
More Cowbell
"I've got a fever...and the only prescription...is more cowbell!"

"By the time I'm done with you, you'll all be wearing gold plated diapers!"

Classic.

BoSox Fan
09-17-2004, 01:18 PM
don't be a stiffy stiffleson

Canada
09-17-2004, 01:42 PM
Will Farrell doing Neil Diamond. "Ya know it gets pretty lonely on the road but ya know what helps me get through it?............Porn, barely legal porn."

He ends up admitting that he ran someone over, has a drug problem, hates foreigners etc, etc and uses it as the basis for his songs.




Chris Farley vs Patrick Swayze for the last spot as a Chippendales Dancer.

Chris Farley demonstrating the "lung brush".

John Belushi as the Decathlete sitting at the table smoking a cigarette and eating little chocolate doughnuts for his strength and power.
Decathlete John Belushi mocking Bruce Jenner.....lol.

BigPoppaPump
09-17-2004, 01:49 PM
The two times Alec Baldwin played Pete Schwetty might be the funniest things ever. Schweet (meat) Balls and the Schwetty foot long sausage.

MKHawk
09-17-2004, 01:59 PM
One other classic skit that comes to mind is a regular feature that Al Franken used to do; can't recall the name. The one with Michael Jordon was hilarious.

The ones with Al Gore and Charles Barkley were very funny too.

It was Stuart Smalley

Bad Scooter
09-17-2004, 02:21 PM
Wedgie: The Game Show

"OOOOOOO-KLahomaaaaah!"



Garret Morris in the Prison Talent Show sketch...

"I'm gonna git me a shotgun and kill all the whities that I see
I'm gonna git me a shotgun and kill all the whities that I see
And when I kill all the whities I see
Whitey he won't bother me
I'm gonna git me a shotgun and kill all the whities that I see.

I'm gonna git me a white woman wearing a navy blue sweater
I'm gonna git me a white woman wearing a navy blue sweater..."



And Eddie Murphy (I'm paraphrasing here)...
"Break into his room dark at night
See the watchdog
Do he bite?
Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
C-I-L-L my landlord."

Bad Scooter
09-17-2004, 02:26 PM
Oh, almost forgot. Last week was 'The Best of Jon Lovitz.'

Him as Satan in "The People's Court" sketch with Rosanna Arquette and Jan Hooks. "I'm Satan, the Prince of Darkness. If I were harassing you, you'd know it!"

And, "I'M PICASSO!"

I personally think Lovitz is one of the most underappreciated people ever on that show.

DBow16
09-17-2004, 02:26 PM
The two times Alec Baldwin played Pete Schwetty might be the funniest things ever. Schweet (meat) Balls and the Schwetty foot long sausage.

The best part is that it's a radio show. I don't think either of those are the original though.

My personal favorite is "Ask President Carter" w/Dan Ackroyd as President Carter and Bill Murray as Walter Cronkite.

I remember Dana Carvey as Dan Quayle being sworn in and they had repeating one word at a time because he screwed it up in the beginning. "I do solemn and swear..."

Or w/Carvey playing Bush I and he tells the audience "quiet everyone, the vice president is sound asleep" and they pan the camera over to a little red-haired boy.

Eddie Murphy as "Mr. White" is pretty classic.

DBow16
09-17-2004, 02:28 PM
Oh, almost forgot. Last week was 'The Best of Jon Lovitz.

"I am the son of Greek immigrants"

Underdog
09-17-2004, 02:33 PM
Eddie Murphy as "Mr. White" is pretty classic."What a silly Negro."

DBow16
09-17-2004, 02:38 PM
"What a silly Negro."

"Take it...just take it..." :D

TrueNorthBear
09-17-2004, 02:43 PM
I've always liked the skits where Kevin Nealon imitates Brent Musberger

tyke1doe
09-17-2004, 02:55 PM
And Eddie Murphy (I'm paraphrasing here)...
"Break into his room dark at night
See the watchdog
Do he bite?
Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.
C-I-L-L my landlord."

Images by Tyrone Greene
Performed by Eddie Murphy

Dark and lonely on a summer's night
Kill my landlord
Kill my landlord
Watchdog barking
Do he bite?
Kill my landlord
Kill my landlord
Slip in his window
Break his neck
Then his house
I start to wreck
Got no reason
What the heck
Kill my Landlord
Kill my landlord
C-I-L-L
my l a n d l o r d

tyke1doe
09-17-2004, 02:57 PM
"What a silly Negro."

Yeah, that was funny. I use that line sometimes now. Under my breath of course. (Note: I am black).

Underdog
09-17-2004, 02:57 PM
I liked his reggae song "Kill the White People"


I live in a shanty in the shantytown.
We have no money so we had to sleep on the ground.
I played the music. My father he dig a ditch.
My mother she do laundry life sure was a *****.

But soon we killed the white people. Ooh we gun make them hurt.
Kill the white people yea. But buy my record first.
Ooh yea. Why donít you buy my record?

We sing of freedom and ooh equality.
But we really donít care we just want money money money.
We want to drive in a big black limosine.
Get so high off ganja we cant even see.
Soon we kill the white people. Ooh we gunna make them hurt.
Kill the white people. Yea. Ooh but buy my record first ooh.

When u go in the record store. We gunna wait outside.
We gunna hit them in the head with a bat and make them cry.
Soon we kill the white people.
Yea but buy my record first.

Underdog
09-17-2004, 02:58 PM
Yeah, that was funny. I use that line sometimes now. Under my breath of course. (Note: I am black).
Wait...tyke's black? ;)

Flagg Wanderer
09-17-2004, 03:05 PM
Bad Idea Jeans ("Sure, I was gonna use a condom, but I thought, whens the next time I'll be back to Haiti?")

A.M.I.S.H. - Amish crimefighters

And now...Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy:

When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.

The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys. But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face with it. Man, I think my heart almost broke. Later the boy came up and offered to give me the toy. This was too much! I reached out my hand, but then he ran away. I chased him down and took the enema bag. He cried a little, but that's the way of these people.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

Link (http://www.cco.net/~jpete/deepthou.htm)

Bad Scooter
09-17-2004, 03:07 PM
Tryone Greene! That's it.

Not sure if anyone mentioned this, but the John David Stutz story was hilarious.

"Mr. Stutz, are you crazy? Are you mentally ill?"
"Then why did you shoot Buckwheat?"
"I had too - my dog told me he was the anti-christ."

LOL! Funny stuff.

The Little Richard Simmons show...

"Got a girl named Daisy
The b**ch is fat and lazy
Got a girl named Daisy
The b**ch is fat and lazy.
She bomp to the east
She bomp to the west
The b**ch got long and saggy breasts"

TrueNBlue
09-17-2004, 03:10 PM
The "Glimpse into the future" skit during the 2000 election where they showed Ferrell's Dubya as President vs. Al Gore as President.

They had Ferrell ducking under his desk while Washington DC was in flames behind him, with his desk litered with beer cans and a habachi grill. "that big tit building is on fire again." "I broke the Hoover Dam?" "Who ever heard of a civil war anyway? What is that?" "The Great Lakes are on fire? Even I know thats not good."

Muscle
09-17-2004, 04:15 PM
Always liked the Sprockets skit with Mike Myers-

<<German accent>> "Do you want to touch my MONKEY, go ahead, touch it!"

Also, Carvey and Nealon, Hans and Franz "I want to PUMP YOU UP!"

The 49er Legacy
09-17-2004, 04:18 PM
- Joe Piscopo & Eddie Murphy as Frank Sinatra and Stevie Wonder, singing "Ebony and Ivory/Life's an Eskimo Pie, Why Don't We Take a Bite."

- Chevy Chase interviewing Richard Pryor for a job. To be more specific, they trade racial slurs.

- Christmas with Gumby. Piscopo/Sinatra doing the Woody Woodpecker theme kills me every time. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! PECKER song!"

- Anything with Darrell Hammond as Al Gore. That "lockbox" stuff is great.

- Will Ferrell at yoga class. I believe Tobey Maguire's in the sketch too.

Others previously mentioned: Celebrity Jeopardy, Behind the Music: Blue Oyster Cult, Garrett Morris' prison talent show, Eddie Murphy as "Mr. White," Buckwheat's Murder, Little Richard Simmons

Donkeypuncher
09-17-2004, 05:05 PM
Will Farrell doing Neil Diamond. "Ya know it gets pretty lonely on the road but ya know what helps me get through it?............Porn, barely legal porn."

He ends up admitting that he ran someone over, has a drug problem, hates foreigners etc, etc and uses it as the basis for his songs.


Awesome skit. "No, I will leave you IN!"

I liked Ferrell as Neil Diamond singing with Bigfoot.
Brian Fellows
Jon Lovitz and Tom Hanks as the pathetic losers

MDPatFan
09-17-2004, 05:17 PM
We are two wild and crazy guys!!!

Mick17
09-17-2004, 05:29 PM
"Look for the Union Label" commercial by the Marijuana Growers Association. Hilarious!

Moriarty
09-17-2004, 05:53 PM
Farley-Swayze Chippendale
Carvey's Broccoli singer
Jackie Rogers Jr 100,000 Jackpot Wad (Short as JRJ, Crystal is Sammy Davis, Jim Belushi as Cpt Kangaroo, etc)
Bush-Dukakis debate
Kevin Nealon porn film reviewer
Mr. Short-Term Memory (Tom Hanks)

DenverPatsFan
09-17-2004, 06:13 PM
Richard Pryor and Chevy Chase doing the interview.

Here's a link: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/75/75ginterview.phtml

DenverPatsFan
09-17-2004, 06:15 PM
Here is a link to a site that contains a lot of transcripts for the SNL shows, it anyone needs to look some up.

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/

Bad Scooter
09-17-2004, 06:55 PM
- Joe Piscopo & Eddie Murphy as Frank Sinatra and Stevie Wonder, singing "Ebony and Ivory/Life's an Eskimo Pie, Why Don't We Take a Bite."


"I am black and you are white
You are blind as a bat, and I have sight"

Good stuff. LMAO!


Oh and Christpher Guest and Billy Crystal. Can't remember the names of the characters, but the one where they're comparing injuries...

"You know what I hate?"
"What's that?"
"I hate it when I take a...."
"...meat thermometer?"
"Yeah, and then I just shove it in my ear as far as it'll go. Then I grab one o' them, uh...."
"...ball-ping hammers?"
"Yeah, that's it. And then I take that and give that meat thermometer a couple of good, hard whacks."
"I hate it when that happens."

arrowhead14
09-17-2004, 06:59 PM
"OOPS! I crapped my pants."

Grandma: I'm impressed. Oops! I Crapped My Pants can hold a lot of dung.

big58
09-17-2004, 10:07 PM
Lord I don't think that anyone has listed "The Continental" (Christopher Walken) on here. Those are prolly my faves! Walken in general is my fave guy to be on there.

The Cowbell skit is up there with my fave all time.

BUT, my fave all time is an older one. I have only seen it one time. See if anyone remembers it.

Belluschi goes into a bar and is trying to score but gets no play. There is a guy sitting at the bar who is getting play from like 4 girls. So Belluschi goes into the John and is looking at himself when the guy that was getting play comes in, combs his hair and then stuffs a few paper towels down his pants. So Bellushci grabs the whole thing of tolwes and stuffs in down, then starts grabbing everything in the bathroom and stuffing it. Then he finds this wall locker and opens it up.........

net scene is Belluschi walking out of the bathroom with this HUGE bulge (like 5 feet in front of him huge) from his pants and "cover me" by Sprintsteen is playing and he just walks out of the bar and chics are just jumping on him. He gets in a cab and has to stick his bulge out the window of the cab. It's just unreal funny.

tyke1doe
09-17-2004, 10:12 PM
- Joe Piscopo & Eddie Murphy as Frank Sinatra and Stevie Wonder, singing "Ebony and Ivory/Life's an Eskimo Pie, Why Don't We Take a Bite."

- Christmas with Gumby. Piscopo/Sinatra doing the Woody Woodpecker theme kills me every time. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! PECKER song!"




ROTFL!!!!!! That Piscopo skit was hilarious. I remember that one. Thanks for refreshing my memory. "The Ebony and Ivory" skit was a great one too.

arrowhead14
09-18-2004, 02:42 AM
The biggest surprise was when the news said they were giving a service to the hearing impaired and that one guy got in the circle and started YELLING the news for the hearing impaired.

Canada
09-18-2004, 01:56 PM
Phil Hartman as Frank Sinatra interviewing Billy Idol, Sinead O'Connor and ???? was funny stuff.





Goat Boy.

TxFootballFan
09-18-2004, 03:17 PM
More Cowbell


"You'll be wearing gold-plated diapers."

I love that one.

big58
09-18-2004, 03:30 PM
"you'll be wearing gold plated diapers"

"what does that mean????"

LOL!!!

Bad Scooter
09-18-2004, 03:34 PM
The biggest surprise was when the news said they were giving a service to the hearing impaired and that one guy got in the circle and started YELLING the news for the hearing impaired.

OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT...

Funny, funny stuff.

Iverson
09-18-2004, 03:41 PM
Schmitts Gay
Norm McDonald as Bob Dole in the Real World
Norm as Larry King

bigschweeler
09-18-2004, 09:35 PM
"OOPS! I crapped my pants."

Grandma: I'm impressed. Oops! I Crapped My Pants can hold a lot of dung.

grandma - "how do you know so much about oops I crapped my paints?"
grandpa - "because I'm wearing them and I just did."

pats2dabowl
01-03-2006, 01:59 AM
Chronicles of Narnia rap has joined the list of all time greatest skits IMO.

Sweet Daddy
01-03-2006, 02:35 AM
In no particular order

Will Ferrell as Harry Carey
Land Shark
Synchronized Swimming
The 60 Minutes probe into victims of poor quality practical jokes, such as fake doggie poo, made by substandard material.
Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon on Weekend Update, only her synergy with Amy Poehler has been close to amusing me as much.
Cowbell
Jeopardy
Buckwheat's been shot

Bad Scooter
01-03-2006, 02:56 AM
I just saw an SNL re-run with Ben Affleck where Affleck did a James Carvelle (sp?) that cracked me the hell up.

RayClay
01-03-2006, 02:59 AM
Belushi as Beethoven!! (you must eat!).

Can't get those first 4 notes of the 5th symphony, (Da Da Da Duhhh)

First hits "my girl" by the temps. Later tries again but gets "What'd I say" with shades and Gilda and Laraine doing the Raylets.

The best is he takes a hit of "snuff", then says achoo.


Steve Martin as James Bond on a budget. A vodka Martini is how much?... Give me a beer then. Shaken, not stirred.


Mr. Robinson's neighborhood.


Dan Akroyd as total sleazeball interviewed by Jane Curtin, sometimes with Laraine Newman as total Bimbo,(I don't know.. teeee hee).

Defending unsafe toys such as Bag O' Glass.

Taking supposedly safe toys and trying to injure himself to make a point.


Belushi as "The Godfather" in group therapy.


Buck Henry as the dirty uncle babysitting Laraine and Gilda. ("Let's play submarine!").


The super heroes party. Belushi as the Hulk exits the bathroom. "It's not supposed to smell like Roses"


Belushi as the commentator on the news. "But noooooooooooooo".


Chevy Chase as the foreign riverboat gambler with Elliot Gould explaining the unique customs from Chevy's culture. "He honors you with the taking of your chips".

karhu
01-03-2006, 03:25 AM
I was thinking earlier today about Mike Meyers' bit as a Japanese TV executive:

We are working hard to make many new films and television shows for you to consume. In fact, we have just finished new situation comedy for American TV audience. It is crazy and out to lunch! It is called "The Nude House Of Wacky People." Here are some scenes:

-- Here is the father coming home from work with many American hamburgers for the family. He is driving so crazy it makes me laugh! Oh, no! He is crashing so much I have to laugh again! This is too much for me to look at and yet somehow I want to watch more!

-- Hey! Here are the children of the wacky family! "Thank you for so many hamburgers," they say! "Ohhhh," says the father, "you cannot have hamburgers or candy canes until you do your homework!" "But we have no homework," say the children. "No homework?" Says the wacky father, "Then you will have to fight the bear!"

I hope you have enjoyed these scenes from "The Nude House of Wacky People," Coming in January on CBS!

And, don't forget our other new shows, such as:

"You Can't Stop Him, He's Too Insane!"

"Good Hitting Police,"

and, "Who Can Figure Out Such Devices?"

If I am not mistaken, they will all drive you into a gourd! Later, dudes!

SBBOY
01-03-2006, 04:07 AM
Wow, almost 5 pages and not one mention of Canteen Boy with Baldwin and Sandler??? Please tell me I'm not the only one that was in tears laughing at that one....

SilverSeahawk
01-03-2006, 04:07 AM
http://www.zippyvideos.com/3882453201802306/snl_-_da_bears/*ratsafari

PatsFan2003
01-03-2006, 05:35 AM
Bill Murray as the lounge lizard singing "Star Wars"

The 49er Legacy
01-03-2006, 06:17 AM
Chronicles of Narnia rap has joined the list of all time greatest skits IMO.
Hell yes. It really has.

"Mr. Pibb + Red Vines = CRAZY DELICIOUS!"

dasher
01-03-2006, 06:18 AM
no order:
Star Wars audition tapes
Wayne's World
Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood
jeopardy
Harry Potter
Cameron Diaz Kid's show
Schweety Balls
The Lovers

pats2dabowl
01-03-2006, 06:30 AM
no order:
Star Wars audition tapes
Wayne's World
Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood
jeopardy
Harry Potter
Cameron Diaz Kid's show
Schweety Balls
The Lovers

How come Chris Parnell doesn't get more gigs? Any idea why he gets no love from Hollywood?

MPilaf
01-03-2006, 06:40 AM
Rob Schneider as the making copies guy. The copy machine breaks down and everyone is worried he can't live without it. The skit ends with him getting the coffee machine and doing the same thing with that.

Robot Insurance with Sam Waterston

Will Ferrell Jimmy Fallon and the WIll and grace guy in the clothing boutique

Yet my all time favorite is the game show "who's more grizzled?" with robert duvall and garth brooks.

Hurricane
01-03-2006, 12:39 PM
Darrell Hammond doing Dan Rather's "Anthrax" report after 9/11. Anytime he does Rather it's a riot.
The Dukakis-Bush debate: "I can't believe I'm losing to this guy."
Cheeseburger
Anyone remember the one with... was it Joe Montana or something, replaying the Joe Theisman broken leg over and over again?

Swimmer1013
01-03-2006, 03:32 PM
The PERFECT Cheer!

And of couse Cow Bell.

Sweet Daddy
01-03-2006, 04:19 PM
Oh dear, I can't believe I forgot Dog Show.

Patriotism
01-03-2006, 06:22 PM
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Dukakis After Dark

Lyle: The Effeminate Heterosexual

My all-time fav was when the guy who played Al Bundy was working in a deli and hae kept making all these sexual inuendos like "I got a foot-long salami."

massraider
01-03-2006, 06:42 PM
Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon on Weekend Update, only her synergy with Amy Poehler has been close to amusing me as much.


I got a little thing for Tina Fey. Not sure what it is, but it's the same little thing I have for Julia-Louis Dreyfus.





Haven't seen it mentioned yet:

"In New York City, a man is mugged every 30 seconds. THIS is that man"

AtTheMurph
01-03-2006, 06:49 PM
Dan Ackroyd as Irving Mainway the toy and costume maker. Who can forget such toys as Johnny Switchblade Punk and Bag O' Glass! Or how about the Haloween costumes Johnny Invisible Pedestrian, and a plastic bag as a Space Helmet.

I especially love the Mainway name because it was an actual store name in Toronto.

How about Buck Henry as the pedophile babysitter who would tell the girls to hide by lifting up their nightgowns and would take polaroids!

Iceblink
01-03-2006, 06:51 PM
More Cowbell

Right on.

(filler)

Donkeypuncher
01-03-2006, 07:01 PM
Male Counselor #1: Alright, alright, I want everybody lined up!

Female Counselor: Alright. [ rading from list on clipboard ] Akila, Charneal.. come on! We gotta line up, otherwise we're not gonna play!

Male Counselor #1: That goes for you, too, Briquette! I want you over there by Pneumonia! Alright, we're gonna play Red Rover. Everybody want to play Red Rover?

[ the kids yell with excitement, all except for one ]

Male Counselor #1: What's wrong with you, Lexicon? You too cool to play Red Rover? Maybe you and Monoxodil want to sit on the bench all night! Alright. Let's pick sides. Latrine, Melanoma.. you two are captains!

Female Counselor: Nah-ah-ah! Melanoma was Captain yesterday!

[ two girls begin to scuffle; Male Counselor #2 breaks them up ]

Male Counselor #1: Hey, hey! What's that all about?!

Male Counselor #2: I'm sorry.. it's Noxzema, sir. She and Algebra have been ganging up on Purina and Chlymydia all day.

Male Counselor #1: Fine! Then you're all four on the same team! Okay.. I want Chinchilla, Hyperbole, Frigidaire and Bulimia - over here, right now!

Female Counselor: Let's go! Let's go, on that side! Alright, on this side.. let's have Quesadilla, Binaca, Silhouette and Agoraphobia! Let's go!

Male Counselor #1: Okay, over here.. I want Testicle, I want Uretha, and Uvula - over here, right now!

Female Counselor: Uhh.. I think you might want to keep them seperated. Uvula, uh.. over here with Lubriderm, Spatula, Conundrum and Mylanta!

Male Counselor #1: Okay. Now, everybody remembers how to play Red Rover? What you want to do is say, "Red Rover! Red Rover! Send Spinal Bifida 'round over!" And then, Spinal Bifida, you break the human chain.

Male Counselor #2: Okay, I'm sorry.. uh.. anyone taking the bus back to Oceanside, it's here. So, I'm gonna need Crackatola, Robitussin, Hologram, Nutrasweet, Gynalotrimen, Trifecta and Quinella. Let's go!

Male Counselor #1: It's alright, it's alright.. we can still play! We got Cornea, we got Listerine, and we got Harpischord Duracell!

Busdriver #1: [ enters scene ] Alright, kids, uh.. bus to Greenport! I need, uh.. Fellatio, uh.. Exomon Red Tattooie.. and Abracadabra - let's go!

Female Counselor: Outta here!

Busdriver #2: [ enters scene ] Sorry, kids! Bus to Hampstat's here! Let's have.. Genitalia, Rubik's Cube, K-Tel, Placebo and Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Karma Chameleon!

Male Counselor #1: Alright, then, we gonna have to forget the Red Rover game, but I got another one. We gonna play The Name Game! We'll start with Onomatopoeia. [ singing ] "Onomato bo-poeia, Banana-fama fo-poeia, Fee-fi mo-poeia.."

Raider Nation
01-03-2006, 07:04 PM
Haven't read every post on here yet... but one I haven't seen so far is the "Bill Bratsky" skit Will Ferrell and Alec Baldwin would do when he hosted.


"Did you know that Bill Bratsky once had sex with a shark?... in an airplane!!! TO BILL BRATSKY {raises glass of scotch}!!!!"

Sweet Daddy
01-03-2006, 07:07 PM
I got a little thing for Tina Fey. Not sure what it is, but it's the same little thing I have for Julia-Louis Dreyfus.





Haven't seen it mentioned yet:

"In New York City, a man is mugged every 30 seconds. THIS is that man"

Tina Fey is by far the hottest female comic ever.

dasher
01-03-2006, 08:18 PM
How come Chris Parnell doesn't get more gigs? Any idea why he gets no love from Hollywood?

I'm happy you asked that question.
Parnell and Hammond (surprised you didn't mention him) are both long over due.

Steve Carrell's road to success is helping pave the way...
the top studio execs are a bit dumbfounded.

As i mentioned a bit earlier... i know the lonely island boys... and am approaching financers to get involved with them as well as parnell and hammond.

I have the biggest crush on Fey, btw..

DenverPatsFan
01-03-2006, 09:30 PM
Tina Fey is by far the hottest female comic ever.
Man, I thought I was the only one. Good to know there's others out there who think she's hot too.

Mo Fo
01-03-2006, 10:45 PM
Aw, who doesn't dig her?

Young (SNL years) Jan Hooks is still untouchable in the Want To Touch category, though.

dasher
01-03-2006, 11:58 PM
i would love to do naked push ups on Tina Fey

pats2dabowl
01-04-2006, 12:49 AM
I'm happy you asked that question.
Parnell and Hammond (surprised you didn't mention him) are both long over due.

Steve Carrell's road to success is helping pave the way...
the top studio execs are a bit dumbfounded.

As i mentioned a bit earlier... i know the lonely island boys... and am approaching financers to get involved with them as well as parnell and hammond.

I have the biggest crush on Fey, btw..


What is the lonely island boys? I potential movie starring Parnell and Hammond?

Fey is cute....the scar is kinda annoying at times though. You guys like Fey more then Silverman? Poehler is kinda attractive in a weird way...guess girls that are really funny just have a peculiar attractive quality.

The 49er Legacy
01-04-2006, 04:41 AM
Silverman and Fey are 1 and 1a in the category of hot female comedians.


Haven't read every post on here yet... but one I haven't seen so far is the "Bill Bratsky" skit Will Ferrell and Alec Baldwin would do when he hosted.

"Did you know that Bill Bratsky once had sex with a shark?... in an airplane!!! TO BILL BRATSKY {raises glass of scotch}!!!!"
There are actually a series of 'em. A few have Baldwin, and I think there are two with John Goodman. One's got David Koechner, as well, I believe. They yield hysterical quotes.

"Brasky once had sex with a cigarette machine!"

"You know, Brasky went public with his buttocks and made $6million!"

"He's ranked 12th in the AP college football poll!"

"One day Brasky puts on a top hat and tails and walks his cobra through the park. He named the cobra 'Beverly', and he taught it how to fetch and dial a phone. But then one day, it bit the maid! So with tears in his eyes, Brasky had to shoot the maid..."

"He taught me how to love a woman, and how to scold a child."

"I masturbate to the Teletubbies!"

"He showers in grain alcohol!"

"One time, Brasky got his wife pregnant, and she gave birth to a delicious thirteen ounce steak. The afterbirth was sauteed mushrooms."

"He drives an ice cream truck COVERED in human skulls!"

"He killed Wolfman Jack, with a trident!"


What is the lonely island boys? I potential movie starring Parnell and Hammond?
It's a comedy trio (LA-based I think). Two of the guys are on the SNL writing team, and the other, Andy Samberg, is a cast member. He's the guy in "Lazy Sunday" with Chris Parnell.

khughes06
01-04-2006, 04:53 AM
Man, I thought I was the only one. Good to know there's others out there who think she's hot too.

Tina Fey, hooray.

jjdche
01-04-2006, 05:27 AM
Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer

The cat toy executives (with Vince Vaughn)

Of course, Deep Thoughts. I think this one is my favorite...


We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off and go fishing. But we wouldn't be laughing that evening when he'd come back with some whore he picked up in town.

DrunkLeprechaun
01-04-2006, 06:19 AM
Many favs already mentioned, but on ethat I really liked was when they did a perfect parody of British Parliment. Not sure who was in it, but it was spot on and damn funny.

bumper28
01-04-2006, 06:37 PM
Harry Schearer and Martin Short as the Synchronized swimmers (I know it has already been mentioned), but the question about Shorts swimmies......

Schearer "He's not a strong swimmer"
Short "I can't swim"

That one or the Ed Grimley sketch with Pat Sajak! I damn near wet my pants to this day over that one!

Sweet Daddy
01-04-2006, 06:39 PM
Ed Grimley was a very funny bit, I must say.

Underdog
01-04-2006, 07:54 PM
Tina Fey is by far the hottest female comic ever.
I kinda thought so, too, until I saw Sarah Silverman sing Amazing Grace, doing three-part harmony with her snooch and her butthole.

DBow16
01-04-2006, 08:21 PM
Young (SNL years) Jan Hooks is still untouchable in the Want To Touch category, though.

I'm with you although there's something hot about those glasses that Fey wears. She's a little minx.

Speaking of Jan Hooks, does anyone remember the "Gary Hart - you can't get him out of your mind" political commercial with her as the crazed mistress?

DBow16
01-04-2006, 08:23 PM
Rob Schneider as the making copies guy.

that's good although I prefer, "You like tha juice??"

FootballRules
01-04-2006, 08:58 PM
- Buzzin Bees at Camp
- Land Shark
- Hamburger, Hamburger

Green / Silver
01-04-2006, 10:21 PM
Tryone Greene! That's it.


LOL! Funny stuff.

The Little Richard Simmons show...

"Got a girl named Daisy
The b**ch is fat and lazy
Got a girl named Daisy
The b**ch is fat and lazy.
She bomp to the east
She bomp to the west
The b**ch got long and saggy breasts"


Now that was classic! lmao